Anyhow, I hadn’t changed him to a cup at his 1 year birthday because I was waiting to see if he was allergic still to dairy and it’s always easy to switch to a cup with a new drink. Alas, he was still allergic and had no interest in drinking the same old, from a new cup.

But, that doesn’t mean we stopped trying. In fact, nanny says she’s lost count on how many cups we’ve tried and the exhorbitant amount of money we’ve spent.

We’re hopeful that there is still a cup out there we haven’t tried, unlikely, but hopeful.

Could you imagine if wives treated their husbands the same way?

Wife: “Hubby, can you point to the hamper? Where is the hamper? Can you put your clothes in it?”

Hubby: “In it.”

That’s right,$90 for the meal, $40 for the sitter, and $185 for having extra crap he missed the first go around at the quantity store.

Kinda makes the $34 look pretty darn worth it.

Now, let’s rewind…

My middle child has been asking, begging and hyperventilating for Stompeez slippers since November 1st. That is all she wanted for the holidays but the shipping fee was equivalent to the cost of the slippers and in the end, we decided that my mother would not buy them for her.

The holidays came and went and she was majorally disappointed that her stompeez never came.

Today, hubby took the two tots to the local Sam’s Club and wouldn’t you know it: Stompeez. She screamed and carried on for them but to no avail.

Of all times hubby decides to be frugal.

Oh what a beautiful day it will be to be able to drive around and listen to anything but the “itsy bitsy spider,” or “bear went over the mountain.”

Almost as exciting as being able to shit in private; and by private, I mean seeing the children veer through the lace curtains on the other side of the door.

“Mom! I want that button; I love it! I’ve been looking for it forever! You can press it when you’re mad and it makes everything easy!”

On the way home, I heard, “that was easy,” at least 50 times. So I decided, I have a new button message that perhaps is more appropro:

“I said get the fuck over here!”

Except that one fateful Friday; she only had a brisket. I sat down, 7 months and starving and watched as she smiled and sat down to eat.

What? She’s sitting down to eat as if there is nothing else to place on the table? What about my fucking chicken??

To make a long story short, I had a fit and left my mother’s house. Hubby hates that episode and was mortified, my family was ashamed and yada, yada, a chicken is always offered for meals.

The other evening, I made my eldest what I thought was a delicious meal. She had eaten some of nanny’s roasted vegetable sandwich and I figured I could make the same. I sauteed the onions, garlic and mushrooms in olive oil; added the red peppers and eggplant and then the pesto sauce. I sliced the fresh mozerella cheese and placed it on the soft roll for her to tasate.

“Ew, I’m not eating that! Don’t ever put that stuff on my sandwich again!”

Are you all happy now? Karma is a bitch.

Buttttt, I do know that if a kid has a persistant cough, that means persistant spitlets are coming out. That means, germs are being passed. That means, try playing at the market, post office or library like all the other mothers of sick children and stay the hell away from tot spots.

Now, the only requirement would be room for the portable potties and ipod chargers.